Once upon a time, in a land far, far away… lived a princess and her father; the king of all the land, in the most illustrious castle ever to be constructed on God’s Earth. The castle was known far and wide to bring happiness and peace to all who entered it.
This however, was not the case for Princess Shayla. Though she was beautiful and rich; there was a piece of her heart that was missing. Her father had pondered over this for many years and could not figure out the cause of her unhappiness. He had brought brave and bold suitors from all across the lands to try and win her hand in marriage, but she had rejected them all. When asked what was wrong with the man she would simply shrug her shoulders and say that she would know when the right one came along, and that her father should stop wasting his time and money on these men.
It used to be that her father could take her out shopping to take her mind off of her lonely heart and this would cheer her up.
But now-a-days, not even the sight of incredible handcrafted sculptures from the renowned Flatirons could lift her spirits
She felt destined to be lonely for the rest of her life.
That night she prayed to the heavens that a man of great heart and strength would arrive at her door. She promised she would make no hesitation in accepting his hand in marriage, just so long as he had a good soul.
It just so happened that the next day, the valiant Prince Goobie was headed on his epic quest to seek the hand of the beautiful princess. All his life he had heard stories of the beautiful princess in her beautiful castle. However, he was constricted to his life as a pawnbroker. He had married young, at 18 to a 37 year old woman who worked in a law firm. With her came her two kids from her previous marriage, Dylan and Tyler. On this day Tyler had turned 18 which made him of legal age to run a business. So it was this day that Prince Goobie abandoned his family and his business in search of the love he knew he was capable of having. For he was much too strong and brave to let his life waste away with a family he was much better than.
His huge arrogant stride had made him cocky and courageous in his actions. He would just as soon bound over a scrap of garbage to show off his vitality than to pick it up to help his communities cleanliness. He was a man of action, not a man of charity.
At the same time on the other side of the kingdom lived a lowly florist by the name of Prince Wong. At birth his mother who was nearing senility was going through a huge Prince phase and had named her son Prince. Though she didn’t want him to have a last name, the kingdoms medical association insisted, and so it came to be that he was named Prince Wong. The common misconception that he was a prince both haunted and helped him throughout his life; on Christmas’s he would receive large sums of money from fathers to come woo their daughters. When the fathers followed up months later to find out where the prince they had sent for had disappeared off to, they would be infuriated to find he had spent the gold on "Japanation!" and video games. Due to all of the misconceptions he was largely in debt and so had no qualms in setting out for his quest to meet the princess when an anonymous invitation arrived at his flower shop that morning.
Prince was the exact opposite of the hero, Goobie. He was never one to bound much, as his legs were quite brittle from a premature birth.
He had absolutely no qualms with picking up garbage, and in fact; insisted on it, as he had sprained his ankle many a time when stepping on discarded pop cans strewn across walkways.
It wasn’t long until Prince Goobie received word of this imposter prince that was apparently seeking the same hand that he was. He wasted no time in stopping at the Fountain of Evil Vultures where he paid off the gatekeeper to do anything in its power to stop Prince Wong before he got anywhere near the castle.
You see, unless you paid a handsome sum to the gatekeeper of the Fountain of Vultures there was absolutely no way to enter the road that lead to the castle. Many men had tried to stinge out on the bill and simply tried to fight the vultures with brute force, and of course, were ripped to shreds in the process. So it was, Prince Goobie paid the sum of rubies to the gatekeeper, plus the additional money to see to it that Wong did not get passed, and then headed on through, one step closer to the castle.
And well would you believe it, not only did Prince Wong rise up to the challenge of the vultures; he welcomed it! Though he was the furthest thing from a violent man, he had spent countless hours mastering the Xbox 360 game, “Vulture Attack!” which was solely based on the Fountain of Vultures. He knew every weak spot on the filthy vultures and dealt them out a good beating.
The evil Pigeon King flew down in disbelief of the assault that was being dealt to his vulture minions.
However, though he was an evil mastermind, he was still a weak pigeon. He bailed.
Wong emerged victorious, and he too, was one step closer to the princess.
Many weeks later of hard travel and toil, Prince Goobie appeared at the grounds of the palace. He had stayed at many inns and hotels on his road to the castle, so he was in tip top condition and ready to meet his bride.
He stopped off at a grocery store and found the most illustrious, plentiful bouquet he could find to impress Princess Shayla.
Wong too had just arrived on the palace grounds. He was extremely weary from the trip; he had not slept in days and had survived off the bitter fruits that were left on trees along the road to the castle. He had no money, but knew showing up empty handed to the castle was a fool’s errand, so he walked into the grocery store around the same time as Goobie.
Being a florist had its perks; he was able to pick out the single most elegant flower in the whole shop, which was the Red Fireheart. It was an extremely inexpensive flower, but was known as the symbol of love and devotion across the land.
On his way out, Prince Goobie spotted Wong. He pushed him over and began running in his great bounding way toward the castles entrance. Wong kept at his leisurely pace, knowing that running would upset his asthma and that ‘slow and steady wins the race’.
It was here, in the castles entrance that the two princes were presented with the biggest test of all. The gates were guarded by an ancient riddle as a way to let only the truest of heart through.
Even though Prince Goobie had sprinted to the entrance he was stopped dead as he pondered the ancient riddle.
He was completely baffled by the ancient script and spent hours staring in total disbelief at the foreign lettering.
After a while, he became frustrated and knew that he had been defeated by the cruel tricks of the kingdom.
He stared up into the sun hoping it was melt his eyes and burn his whole body to a crisp. It was not often Goobie was defeated by something. And for it to be something as simple as a stupid riddle made him furious.
A few hours later, Wong arrived at the entrance. When he was presented with the riddle he was yet again surprised to find it was a subject he knew well.
It was ancient script that was often put into his "Japanation!" magazines! He had spent hours of his life puzzling over the various codes in his magazines and having great fun mastering the art of Sarahjapan Code, as it was known. It took him 20 minutes to crack the code, which was a new record time for him.
He said the answer aloud to himself and was astonished when an iPod with headphones appeared from nowhere on the stone! This truly was a magical place!
Without hesitation he put the headphones to his ears and listened to what was presented before him.
Of course! This was not in fact the entrance to the castle! What the iPod told him was the secret directions to reach the princess! It was a very complicated route, and he would need to bring the iPod with him as a GPS to properly reach the grounds.
Unfortunately for Wong, he was too busy in his jubilation to watch out for the evil Prince Goobie who was still lurking around the ‘entrance’. Prince Goobie had seen the magical iPod appear, and though he was absolutely furious to see Wong had figured something out that he could not himself, he knew he would steal the magical device from him.
He snuck up behind Wong and snatched the earphones from his head!
Laughing as he ran off with the device!
He perched on a bench far enough away from Wong and listened to the directions.
He bounded off once again toward the castle with the iPod, leaving Wong alone and helpless in the fake entrance.
Shayla’s father, the king was overjoyed to see that another prince had made his way to the castle! He was a foolish man and was unable to see the bad in people. He just wanted the best for his daughter and so he introduced Prince Goobie to Princess Shayla and left the two alone so they could be properly acquainted.
Prince Goobie wasted no time in telling the princess all about his exploits. He told her the story of how he had left his family in the dust for the most beautiful girl in the kingdom. He proceeded to brag about how he could make their pathetic moat that surrounded the castle a gigantic wonder of modern science so that no one would be able to get in and disturb their marriage. The princess was completely turned off by Goobie. A man that left his family for another woman, one of which he didn’t even know, held no appeal for her. And she really didn’t want a man who was going to spend his time frivolously building moats, while there were servants all over the grounds whom were hired for such tasks. She decided that asking the heavens for a strong prince was one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
At the same time, back at the castles gates Wong was wandering around aimlessly when he came upon a gigantic fountain. Inside were what appeared to be swirling spirits! They spoke to Wong and told him that they knew he was the right one for the princess; they had been following him on his journey and knew that he was pure of heart and was the rightful heir to the throne. The fountains water started glowing and Wong was compelled to touch it. Doing so, he was transported to the castle and landed right in the courtyard next to the princess!
A few weeks later, after only several dates to the movies and to dinner the two were married in the courtyard! People from all over the land had come to witness this miracle of love, and all of their whisperings about the castle radiating nothing but goodness were confirmed when they met the kind hearted Prince Wong.
The two lived happily ever after.
Prince Goobie, as furious as he was by being beat by Prince Wong, got to thinking about his life and reflecting on his arrogant behaviour. He knew he needed to change and that his disrespect for other people was a reflection on how he really thought of himself. He was a weak and slimy soul and came to terms with the fact that he would most likely die alone.
Instead of going home and facing all of his life’s problems he joined the monastery. Realizing that his selfish ways would do him no good in the world, he turned to God. Realizing that being a messenger of God was far more rewarding. This happened to be the same church that Princess Shayla and Prince Wong would end up going every Sunday.
Eric Reid as the King!
Kelvin Wong as Prince Wong!
Shayla Vaughan as Princess Shayla!
Eric Terry as Prince Goobie!
The group!
The End.
